In the near corner we have, weighing the same as an angry Pitbull in heat, the insatiable Queen Madalena. And in the far corner, weighing the same as a Chihuahua without her favorite pink sweater, the violently squeaky Princess Isabella Lucia Maria Elizabetta!
Folks I think Gareth said it best with “Finally! I’ve been waiting two seasons for this!” Contained herein is a descriptive analysis of this particular battle of wits, blow by blow.
First, Madalena gets in there quickly to establish dominance, but Isabella catches on the the musical groove quickly and replies with a musically appropriate rebuttal. The two begin by testing each others’ reflexes with some slight footwork and a solid show of shimmying.
Immediately, Madalena regains dominance by throwing the first rhyming blow. She starts off strong by showing off her new position as Queen over Isabella’s mere ousted princess and shares her Slytherin-like opinion of coolness and cruelness. A rhyme I especially appreciate due to its alliteration. The first blow concludes with pointing out the crown. The nods to her Queen status have become repetitive and Isabella takes this opening to fire back.
Sadly Isabella takes a left turn into the ocean with an oddly placed wave reference. But she makes it back with a solid left hook to Madalena’s insufficient bloodline and continues with a kosher comment (a secret nod to Sid?). Everyone loves bacon by the way so she goes for a crowd win with that one. Her next move is a smart one. She may be the tinier of the fighters but she turns it into a benefit of her own spunkiness.
AND THEN MADALENA HITS BELOW THE BELT WITH A KISS COMMENT. Low blow, but effective. While Isabella makes a good point of having the man, he is Madalena’s leftovers. M’s got a new man now.
The next shots fire equally, the ho vs. the prude.
The bridge is where Madalena starts pulling away, knocking at Isabella again, and again, and again. Madalena almost has her opponent pinned, when Isabella pulls out a secret weapon, which she doesn’t know isn’t a lie. Don’t know how that should play into the points scored. She has to tap the Jester in briefly for back up, otherwise she wouldn’t have had the same affect with those high notes.
In the end, Isabella’s mention of the one true king becomes a trump card and we have to rescue the fight with one final return to the chorus.
Even though Isabella had the final blow, it was entirely based on a not false, lie. For this reason, as well as Madalena’s overall badass outfit and cool factor, I have to give the fight to the obvious better of the two women, Madalena.
Procrastination and Giggles,
The Red Queen
P.S. Did you know there is a guy who plays “Valencian Guard” who’s been in 15 of the 18 episodes of Galavant? He is the winner of the Extras Game.