Damn You New Sorting Hat Quiz. Damn You To The Depths of Hell.

Let’s being with the fact that not only has every Harry Potter sorting quiz I’ve ever taken put me in Ravenclaw. I’m happy there. For Fawkes sake* I’m getting my damn PhD in genetics, of course I’m a Ravenclaw.

But, my friends, disaster has struck. I was unable to recover my old Pottermore account due to an extended absence from the website. I created a new one and decided I wanted to check out the new version of the Sorting Hat quiz, confident in my obvious Ravenclaw-ness.

Hindsight is 20/20. I should have just selected my house. But I was cocky and now my soul is crushed. Curiosity has killed this Raven. It is like my entire identity is lost.

I’ve been going back through every question wondering where I went wrong and I think I know it. SO WHAT IF I WANTED A WHITE OWL. TOAD AND CATS ARE NOT MY FAVORITE. I’m a dog person…I’m honestly upset guys.

The final kicker is the free wall paper. I want my Ravenclaw wallpaper.

I think I’m going to make another account and fix this catastrophe. That’s the only way my heart will repair itself.

Knowledge and Giggles Before All Else,
The Red Queen

P.S. The only saving grace is that at least I like my wand.

P.S.S. I’ve tried every old email I’ve ever had and I cannot rescue my old account and I don’t remember my stupid old assigned name so I may never be a Ravenclaw again. On top of all this, I just burnt my mouth on soup y’all.

P.S.S.S THANK GOD FOR MY UNWILLINGNESS TO DELETE EMAILS! In the depths of my emails from 2011 I found my original welcome to Pottermore letter, with my original name. I have my beautiful house back and my beautiful wand: Cedar Wood, 14 1/2 inches, core of unicorn hair with reasonably supple flexibility. And all was right with the world.

*Pun provided by Queen Amidala