Shadowhunters: “Dead Man’s Party” is a Snooze

I really can’t believe I’m still watching this show, but I shall make sacrifices for the blog.

This week let’s start with Alec. Pardon my French but what a little bitch. That’s really the only appropriate way to describe him: little bitch. I get that he is having these crazy emotions because he is secretly in love with Jace, but the stark avoidance by Freeform of the topic of Alec’s homosexuality makes his character essentially useless.

Speaking of sexuality…the short training scene between Jace and Clary is so sexual it’s almost painful. Like there is no need for the word pulsing to be there. All Jace did was say a bunch of sexual words and suddenly she can use a sword.

The only party in this episode is a misplaced orgy. The sex scene between Meliorn and Isabelle at least provides some information, but I thought Fairies were supposed to be hot? If you’re going to inundate me with unnecessary coitus at least make the participants attractive.Isn’t this supposed to be a teen show? It’s written like a teen show (bad acting, boring plotlines) but there is a lot of skin for this show. You’d think they’d stop with the sex and get on with the planning, rescuing, protecting, badassery that is supposed to be their damn job. Clary finally makes a decent point. WHY ARE THEY NOT DOING ANYTHING? WHY?

I really hated on Simon during the last episode, but his rant this week was adorable and the actor’s ability to pause mid argument and pick back up was impressive. As a side note, since when can vampires freeze people? What is up with that? Part of me is a little happy that nerdy Simon got to get in on the sexy time action. If everybody is going to do it the nerd should be included. Especially since he is obviously cannon fodder in the war against the demons. Silly mundane.

Thanks to Simon’s capture we also get to have our first legitimate fight scene, which is really the reason I keep watching this show. I want to see some bodies hit the floor. And watching vampires disintegrate and Isabelle get to use her cool snake whip thing definitely improved my opinion of the show, not much, but some.

I almost started to like this show. Suddenly, my excitement died on the sounds of Clary’s girly screams.

Procrastination and Giggles,
The Red Queen

P.S. Can we please come up with a different rune? This one is so repetitive even I could track these people.